Marriage Spectator

Had a loooooong conversation about Marriage (I use the cap "M" because I respect and understand it is a reputable institution) with a married friend of mine this evening. Marriage doesn't just happen to anyone. I believe everyone who gets married has had it in their mind for a longer time & worked hard towards it. People imagine, dream, fantasize, pray & wish for it! The universe always delivers what we ask for, only when we constantly embrace our desires by reaching out to them.

My married friend believes getting married is overrated and for people who desperately need a partner to conquer life etc. He even went as far as saying married people are parasitic and shadow each other too much and that seems to be irksome for him. I can't discuss his issues because they seemed to be rooted from troubles at home.

At times like this I wish I could throw him out and ask him to talk to other married people. But again, I could be that different perspective he needs. Debatable...


For someone who is NEVER going to marry, I have my own perceptions and beliefs about marriage and having a family. My life plan has children involved but no marriage albeit my great respect for people who endorse this level of companionship into their affairs.

I jogged my mind through what I know and believe against what I have heard. As a spectator, I think it is the most beautiful union built on prolonged infatuation and tolerance, period. This is just me, I don't think love only is enough for Marriage, and I don't think people who have been married for anything over 10 years still love each other. It is pure tolerance & the laziness to even think of starting something else with anyone. Let's not be fooled. Damn! That was silly of me, I take it back *rolls eyes*.

Unfortunately, people tend to over-exercise power after they get married...expectations, orders, attitudes and at times the sexual appetites and services become ammunitions. That's just not on...

The idea of a wedding & companionship are really different from what Marriage really is. Everyone can have a wedding but not everyone can sustain a Marriage. I don't know where I heard that, but ya, it makes sense to me.

5 of 100 things which I think have and will always tear homes:

1. Sex: married people who don't have enough sex. I promise you it is shocking how many horny married people are roaming the streets spending real money on birds just to "curl toes".

2. Expectations: people need to understand that it won't take a Marriage Counselor to groom your partner into a wife/husband. You make your people, I strongly believe in expressing yourself better and frequently for the next person to get where you are. Don't bring that "but I said it the other time" bullshit!

3. The kids: it is so easy for kids to love parents who love each other. I know this because I used to think my dad was Superman when he did something nice for my mom (it didn't happen often, but hey, LOL). Married people should stop making kids the VIPs of their homes. Kids are mean, devious and need to be ruled not worshiped.

4. Material sh!t: the most fucked up part of married life is credit. Just because you can get more doesn't mean you need more. That "His & Hers" offer at BMW CAN tear the house down if you let it. Just because Rendani & Beyonce took the new Mercedes "His & Hers", it doesn't mean you guys need to. For all shit that's possible Rendani could be fucking his gay boss who's secretly paying for the cars & the house...just saying.

5. Tension, Time & Truth: I don't know how everyone gets beat by all these (Bachelors & Spinsters included). I'm not going to go into this one either because my references will be based on my friend and it might get me into trouble.

If I was planning to get married I would (5 of 1000):

1. Not try to be a great son in law to her parents or siblings but try to stay the best man she married. In Laws always fuck up good things I promise you, they are too quick to judge and spot errors without presenting solutions. But I'd sure respect them for their wisdom.

2. Try as hard as I can to EARN respect and confidence from my wife but not enforce it. It goes a long way, from SINCERELY apologizing where I'm wrong to HONESTLY forgiving where I'm wronged etc

3. Keep my friends' and family's opinions out of my house when handling my arguments. Nothing is as retarded as someone who can't stand up for anything and always have to quote someone when shit hits the fan.

4. NEVER get caught!! Guys need to master this art. The fear and curiosity of the unknown are the most evil source of temptation to any man.

5. Not have kids until we get to a point where companionship has been balanced and we can accommodate a third-wheeler and keep them in their place. This whole having kids nonsense shouldn't be rushed, PACE yourselves.

I know someone is reading this and thinking "What does he know??" Well, let me just answer that.

1. I know that I can get out of a sticky situation without a terrible fight, learn that.

2. I can remain humble no matter how unfair the situation is and express myself without making the next person feel attacked, do that.

3. I know that you aren't sure if this is really what marriage is about. If you are sure she is the one then make her happy by being your best. If you ask me how "to be your best" then get a divorce & commit suicide because you are clearly a retard.

4. I know that I can navigate between different personalities to accommodate the people I am investing in long term relationships with...be a clown, a brother, friend, partner, mentor, listener, follower, fan & the friend that prays. As a man, you need to shut your eyes and play a fool now and again, it won't hurt you, but just encourage the feedback you anticipate when you do all these.

5. I know my worth & how God expects me to lead my life. I refuse to commit to anything which is supposed to be in Holy matrimony & divorce after a year.

I don't know much about Marriage, but I know a lot about quality relationships and the FACT that I am not going to marry. Make it work guys, its YOUR call.

I am really excited for ALL my friends getting married this year & I wish you the best!! #MakeItWork #Thick&Thin...fUn & CLASs