I know a couple
of people who have been silently waiting for this Friday, not necessarily with
excitement but to get back to life. Living on toast and jam for a week was hard
neh?? There you go, you have your monies! I hope you regain your sanity and smile
a little bit. It isn't our fault you can't budget. I had prawns last night
;)...at an event. LOL
The sad part is - you were not told the truth. I'm not being silly but, your HR and Finance Manager just decided to keep quiet about a few things that would make you run. The truth is they just give us enough to look healthy, decent and go to the slave house. It is up to us to be resourceful and wise.
I have quick tips for you about pay day being on the Friday just because the 25th is a Saturday. Note, it means an extra day to the next pay day. I would really appreciate if advertisers and financial gurus don't read this because they are the evil spirits behind this strategy.
May is somewhat almost like January, with all the holidays in March and April blah, blah, blah, we have spent pretty much more than we would on a "normal" month. Went on holiday and had to live up to the promises we made to families and etc.
My quick tips (based on experience and obviously the people around me):
- If you wake up to more than 3SMSs from debit orders and none of them is your rent, car or savings then you are living beyond your means. Get help before you start claiming you have been a fraud victim or bewitched.
- It is ok to have dinner plans for tonight, but it is not ok to pay more than you normally do. It is pay day and almost everyone around that table will be paid too. Don't be fooled by the neon lights, stick to your Savanna/Beer please. You will have Vodka/Whisky at a work function or at a house party because you can get it from Makro at 70% lesser than what it is there.
- My mother always says, when its pay day you shouldn't take your lunch box, that's your day to have just 1 meal you have been craving between the 20th and today. Don't over do it, one is enough.
- If you happen to be the person leaving the office for the shops and someone asks you to bring them juice, ask for that R12.99 back. Don't be embarrassed, you are entitled to it. Everyone in there got paid, right? It will make a difference on the dish washing liquid when you buy your groceries tomorrow.
- Don't fall for the petty "I get paid on the 31st let's have drinks on you this weekend, I will cover next week." I would be a millionaire if I never fell for that sh!t. In most cases the 31st falls on a weekday and you will go as far as Phuza-Thursday, this means you will have about 5 rounds lesser than what you paid, this saves them -+R600. Even if it will be a weekend, there aren't many gigs as the weekend of the 25th; people prefer braais than going out because they would have paid bills and stuff.
- DO NOT go shopping: After 4years' experience in retail I am really clued up. This is the weekend for shops to make targets, the nonsense that's marked "Clearance SALE" there are probably 5 more items at the back or other branch. Wait for them to chop the price again in two weeks.
- Plastic, plastic, plastic: I know we all love to touch and feel our money and all, but its not worth it (especially us bo darkie!!) Just swipe and draw money at tills if you need to. It seems a bit rural but it is all worth it!! That R7.50 ATM charge could cover a loaf of bread from the Spar bakery on the 16th (that micro-bus looking loaf that you have to cut for yourself, but you can't really do it when it is hot). I've seen someone hide. LOL! Kunzima.
- NO to YOLO: That R4300 HOT pair of shoes can wait until it is R2800 in 6 weeks. Or Aldo, San Marina or Europa would have cloned it and give it to you at R1490 or less. If you really want it scrutinize it until you see something wrong on it, you can negotiate a cool R800 discount if you are good. It is your right as a customer.
- This is NOT the time to buy winter jackets and boots, if you haven't bought them in March, wait for August and you will wear them next year. It IS OK not to have the latest trend. As long as you still rock what you have and it is decent.
- Your electricity bills will be going up. Choose wisely, either buy an electric blanket or a heater. You don't need all of them. Shower in the evening and wrap up under a blanket with a cup of soup or coffee (Jacobs please) and just stop moaning. It is winter, unless you were born in hell or something. Oh! And ya, have sex...safe sex.
- Invest in the winter fruits. They aren't the best fruits in the history of Adam and Even and their outdoor sex scandal. But they are good for you and will save you the savings on your medical aid. Play smart now.
- Ladies: Allow them to take you out on dates, this is the busy weekend in your town and you won't miss it so enjoy it on someone's card. But don't go to his place, you are gonna be screwed after a young Ricoffy gesture in a mug he got from his flat mate at varsity. Did I mention Lover's + condom from a promo girl at the mall earlier when you went to the loo? Eish women and the loo though!
- Guys: Most of the restaurants have specials and there is always a food promo/ special somewhere. Don't have the main course and dessert at the same place. Opt for the let's take a walk bullsh!t after dinner and get her frozen yoghurt at R17.50 from the container in the middle of the mall (she can have it as you walk walk to the car, lesser time to bear listening to what she thinks love is and a good man#AintNobodyGotTimeForThat. It saves you the odd R41.20 piece of cake at a restaurant. Take her there and pull the "I'm a simple down to Earth guy" card. They love it and trust me, you will get laid.
- I have developed a mean way of saving. It has brought me down from around R1800 on groceries to between 600 and 800. As I do my groceries shopping, I ask myself "Can I live without it??" Yes, I have become extremely stingy and boring. This means there won't be dinners at my place anymore, hence there wasn't even a party this year for my 21st. #shock&horror
- If you have a young dinner party. Buy your meat (e.g. chicken and lamb) for everyone and prepare it, get your wine (enough for you and your girl ONLY) then ask the rest of the fools to each bring a salad and a bottle of wine or whatever that makes them smile. It is fair because you are giving them a venue to hangout pretend they are happy at each other’s' emotional expenses.
- Girls who have been seeing a guy for a while: The dinner bill is yours this weekend. Men want little things like that even if he can afford it. He will buy you a trench coat tomorrow after breakfast ;) But you know there will be a young Durban July in bed tonight for that #EarnIt
- And last but not least: If you are going out in your car this weekend with friends, the drinks bill excludes you. A cab is R80 so the b!tches better be logical thinkers. The guy that pays for entrance will NOT buy a round until everyone has bought the second round.
Now kids!! Have a wonderful pay day weekend and be safe with your money. Respect, value and appreciate money. It will do the same for you.
Wish I was also paid...anyone wanna date me?
The sad part is - you were not told the truth. I'm not being silly but, your HR and Finance Manager just decided to keep quiet about a few things that would make you run. The truth is they just give us enough to look healthy, decent and go to the slave house. It is up to us to be resourceful and wise.
I have quick tips for you about pay day being on the Friday just because the 25th is a Saturday. Note, it means an extra day to the next pay day. I would really appreciate if advertisers and financial gurus don't read this because they are the evil spirits behind this strategy.
May is somewhat almost like January, with all the holidays in March and April blah, blah, blah, we have spent pretty much more than we would on a "normal" month. Went on holiday and had to live up to the promises we made to families and etc.
My quick tips (based on experience and obviously the people around me):
- If you wake up to more than 3SMSs from debit orders and none of them is your rent, car or savings then you are living beyond your means. Get help before you start claiming you have been a fraud victim or bewitched.
- It is ok to have dinner plans for tonight, but it is not ok to pay more than you normally do. It is pay day and almost everyone around that table will be paid too. Don't be fooled by the neon lights, stick to your Savanna/Beer please. You will have Vodka/Whisky at a work function or at a house party because you can get it from Makro at 70% lesser than what it is there.
- My mother always says, when its pay day you shouldn't take your lunch box, that's your day to have just 1 meal you have been craving between the 20th and today. Don't over do it, one is enough.
- If you happen to be the person leaving the office for the shops and someone asks you to bring them juice, ask for that R12.99 back. Don't be embarrassed, you are entitled to it. Everyone in there got paid, right? It will make a difference on the dish washing liquid when you buy your groceries tomorrow.
- Don't fall for the petty "I get paid on the 31st let's have drinks on you this weekend, I will cover next week." I would be a millionaire if I never fell for that sh!t. In most cases the 31st falls on a weekday and you will go as far as Phuza-Thursday, this means you will have about 5 rounds lesser than what you paid, this saves them -+R600. Even if it will be a weekend, there aren't many gigs as the weekend of the 25th; people prefer braais than going out because they would have paid bills and stuff.
- DO NOT go shopping: After 4years' experience in retail I am really clued up. This is the weekend for shops to make targets, the nonsense that's marked "Clearance SALE" there are probably 5 more items at the back or other branch. Wait for them to chop the price again in two weeks.
- Plastic, plastic, plastic: I know we all love to touch and feel our money and all, but its not worth it (especially us bo darkie!!) Just swipe and draw money at tills if you need to. It seems a bit rural but it is all worth it!! That R7.50 ATM charge could cover a loaf of bread from the Spar bakery on the 16th (that micro-bus looking loaf that you have to cut for yourself, but you can't really do it when it is hot). I've seen someone hide. LOL! Kunzima.
- NO to YOLO: That R4300 HOT pair of shoes can wait until it is R2800 in 6 weeks. Or Aldo, San Marina or Europa would have cloned it and give it to you at R1490 or less. If you really want it scrutinize it until you see something wrong on it, you can negotiate a cool R800 discount if you are good. It is your right as a customer.
- This is NOT the time to buy winter jackets and boots, if you haven't bought them in March, wait for August and you will wear them next year. It IS OK not to have the latest trend. As long as you still rock what you have and it is decent.
- Your electricity bills will be going up. Choose wisely, either buy an electric blanket or a heater. You don't need all of them. Shower in the evening and wrap up under a blanket with a cup of soup or coffee (Jacobs please) and just stop moaning. It is winter, unless you were born in hell or something. Oh! And ya, have sex...safe sex.
- Invest in the winter fruits. They aren't the best fruits in the history of Adam and Even and their outdoor sex scandal. But they are good for you and will save you the savings on your medical aid. Play smart now.
- Ladies: Allow them to take you out on dates, this is the busy weekend in your town and you won't miss it so enjoy it on someone's card. But don't go to his place, you are gonna be screwed after a young Ricoffy gesture in a mug he got from his flat mate at varsity. Did I mention Lover's + condom from a promo girl at the mall earlier when you went to the loo? Eish women and the loo though!
- Guys: Most of the restaurants have specials and there is always a food promo/ special somewhere. Don't have the main course and dessert at the same place. Opt for the let's take a walk bullsh!t after dinner and get her frozen yoghurt at R17.50 from the container in the middle of the mall (she can have it as you walk walk to the car, lesser time to bear listening to what she thinks love is and a good man#AintNobodyGotTimeForThat. It saves you the odd R41.20 piece of cake at a restaurant. Take her there and pull the "I'm a simple down to Earth guy" card. They love it and trust me, you will get laid.
- I have developed a mean way of saving. It has brought me down from around R1800 on groceries to between 600 and 800. As I do my groceries shopping, I ask myself "Can I live without it??" Yes, I have become extremely stingy and boring. This means there won't be dinners at my place anymore, hence there wasn't even a party this year for my 21st. #shock&horror
- If you have a young dinner party. Buy your meat (e.g. chicken and lamb) for everyone and prepare it, get your wine (enough for you and your girl ONLY) then ask the rest of the fools to each bring a salad and a bottle of wine or whatever that makes them smile. It is fair because you are giving them a venue to hangout pretend they are happy at each other’s' emotional expenses.
- Girls who have been seeing a guy for a while: The dinner bill is yours this weekend. Men want little things like that even if he can afford it. He will buy you a trench coat tomorrow after breakfast ;) But you know there will be a young Durban July in bed tonight for that #EarnIt
- And last but not least: If you are going out in your car this weekend with friends, the drinks bill excludes you. A cab is R80 so the b!tches better be logical thinkers. The guy that pays for entrance will NOT buy a round until everyone has bought the second round.
Now kids!! Have a wonderful pay day weekend and be safe with your money. Respect, value and appreciate money. It will do the same for you.
Wish I was also paid...anyone wanna date me?
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